Self Love Guide: Self Love Quotes And Affirmations
In this post you’ll learn what self love is, what self love is not, how to unlearn self sabotaging and how to rewire your brain with self love. I will also share with you self love affirmations and some of the best self love quotes.
What does self love mean to you? Because I think that’s a great place to start. I never really knew what self love truly meant until I learned what it was not.
Self love is not:
comparing yourself to others
Setting goals and beating yourself up if you don’t meet them
Striving to get the approval of others
Worrying if you said and done the right thing
Self love is treating yourself with kindness and talking to yourself with compassion. I’m talking about self love today because I treated myself badly for a long time without realising it and I don’t want you to do the same. I want to show you how to recognise when you’re not treating yourself with self love and how to empower yourself with it instead.
What is self sabotaging?
Are you unknowingly self sabotaging? This can be either consciously or unconsciously acting and thinking in ways that hinder our success, happiness or wellbeing. So what would this look like?
Negative self talk because you think you deserve it
Procrastinating to avoid failure
Avoidance to prevent rejection
Using unhealthy coping mechanisms
Struggle with asserting your boundaries
Focussing too much on fixing other people’s problems
Believing negative thoughts
Where does self sabotaging come from?
There can be a number of reasons we might self sabotage. As thechelseapsychologyclinic explains, this can be to avoid difficult emotions, it can be because we haven’t been taught how to process and manage our emotions, or they can be coping mechanisms learnt in our childhood.
How can I stop self sabotaging?
In order to stop self sabotaging we need to work on our beliefs that are limiting us. When I started to figure out how harsh my beliefs were of myself, not to mention how completely untrue they were, I was able to then recreate new healthy beliefs that were true.
This whole process is a lot to go through but it will change your life, it will help you become who you were always meant to become.
Questions to ask yourself:
Why do I think that about myself?
What would it mean if that were true?
What evidence do I have for that negative belief?
What evidence do I have against that negative belief?
Are there alternative ways to view the situation?
When we start to challenge the beliefs that are holding us back, we start to realise that they aren’t true and we can finally let go of them.
Learning self love
Now that you’ve started to challenge the beliefs that are not serving you well, you might be keen to practice some real self love. lets take a look at how we can step into the journey of self love
New positive and empowering beliefs
Now that you’ve tossed out those old beliefs that we no longer will allow space for, here comes the best part, creating new empowering and authentic beliefs. These should be made up of who you truly are deep down and giving validation to that andgiving worthiness to that, because you owe that to yourself.
Questions to ask yourself:
What are my values
What are my goals (not other people’s)?
What do I care about?
How do I want to be treated?
What matters to me most?
Build new beliefs
The next step is to look at your answers to questions like the ones above and try to give validation to the answers. This is to help you to develop a stronger sense of self and to have confidence in it. For example one of my limiting beliefs was that I should always make sure other people were comfortable, even at the expense of my own discomfort. This meant that I was continuously abandoning myself to make sure people around me felt ok. My new belief was that yes its a wonderful characteristic to care about people around us, but that also means caring about how we feel too. So then I recreated the belief that it is important to always respect how you feel yourself as well as those around you.
To do this you can list all the reasons that support your new belief. For example I thought about all of the times that my gut instinct was right, and how by ignoring it I was self sabotaging and the people around me ended up being people who weren’t good for me.
Spend time getting to know yourself
Now you have dug a little deeper and thought about what really matters to you, you can begin exploring your values and interests. Spend your time doing things that make you feel inspired and motivated, make way for following your passions and interests. because now is the time to build a beautiful relationship with yourself.
When a situation arises that triggers your old belief system, ask yourself if there are other ways to view the situation. For example, a friend doesn’t text you back for a while. You might presume you’ve upset them or they don’t like you. This would be confirming an old belief system that you feel you might not be likeable.
Start to practice viewing the situation from a different perspective where you consider other alternatives. Maybe your friend is having a hard time themselves, maybe your friend is caught up with something.
Out with the old in with the new
Let go of environments that reinforce negative beliefs or discourage your progress. Instead go where you feel seen, respected and inspired in alignment with your new and authentic beliefs.
Don’t attach your identity to mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we recognise them, listen and learn which is part of our character. So don’t beat yourself up over mistakes, use them as an opportunity to evolve. Be kind to yourself by showing yourself compassion and knowing that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time.
Boundaries are important because they protect our energy and ensure that we can have a good balance of looking after ourselves and those around us. Think about what you want your boundaries to be, and learn how to communicate them in an assertive and respectful way. This post is about setting boundaries after having a baby, however it has a step by step guide to setting boundaries that is relevant for any situation
You may also like: Affirmations for setting boundaries
Positive affirmations should be ones that reinforce your healthy beliefs and encourage you to treat yourself with compassion and unconditional love. You could place these all around your home, or you could write them in your journal to remind and encourage you every day.
Give yourself time and grace. Celebrate every little progress. Learn to enjoy the journey of self love.
Self love affirmations:
I release old beliefs that were holding me back
I can give my emotions the validation that they need
I am unique and cannot be compared to another person
All of my dreams welcome me and are waiting for me
My self love shines out onto others
I embrace the journey of self love with open arms
I am gentle with myself while I’m learning self love
I listen to my gut instinct and respect it
I can view situations as opportunities rather than mistakes
I respond to myself with compassion rather than critisism
I accept myself even when others do not
I choose self love as my consistency
I will listen to when my body needs my care and attention
I will allow time for all areas of my needs, including emotional, social, spiritual, psychical and intellectual
I release old beliefs and make space for my most authentic self to step forward
Making room for self love is time spent well
I have compassion for the parts of myself that I neglected
I accept and give love to all of what make me who I am
My dreams want me because I create them
I am the artist of my own self love
I am worthy of the love I give out
I can make small steps that lead to my own happiness
I welcome thoughts that make me feel good
I welcome thoughts that make me feel safe
I am always free to be my authentic self
I can love myself in the way that I need
My own approval of myself is valid
I am made up of everything that I need
I can decide when I need to rest
I can decide what is right and wrong for me
I forgive myself for when I didn’t know better
I can find happiness in the journey of self development
Self love is my foundation for building a life I love
Self Love Quotes
“People don’t have to like you, people don’t have to love you. They don’t even have to respect you. But when you look in the mirror, you better love what you see.” – Sheryl lee Ralph
“I gained my strength back when I released, actually no. That girl wasn’t lame, that girl didn’t need a better body. That girl didn’t need to look like this. I was meant to be exactly who I am.” – Selena Gomez
“When people choose love they always choose right.” – Billy Ward
Love yourself first and then everything will fall into place.” – Earthimama
“Self-love is the source of all other loves.” Pierre Corneille
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” Oscar Wilde
“Self love is something you already own, you just need to claim it”- Earthimama
“You change the world by being yourself.” — Yoko Ono
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light” – Mary Dunbar
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else ” – Maragret Mead