Feeling unhappy? Here are 5 questions to help find out why
Feeling unhappy from time to time is a normal part of life. However when it takes up most of our lives, it can be helpful to consider the way we are living, and what we can possibly change. If you are feeling unhappy then consider asking yourself these 6 questions.
How am I managing my time?
Do you take control of balancing your to-do lists with your free time? or do you feel out of control and wait for things to happen? If we believe that we are powerless, then we are not going to be taking actional steps towards the life we want. If on the other hand believe that we can manage our time for our maximum benefit, then we are going to make good choices. It is up to us to figure out when we can be productive, and when we need self-care. realizing this can empower us to make changes that improve our happiness. Some suggestions:
- Focus on one thing at a time
- Take the pressure off yourself
How am I dealing with problems?
Positive thinking is one of the biggest protectors of mental wellbeing. If we suppress how we feel and ignore problems, then this is going to manifest inside us. When we are faced with a problem, we need to learn how to accept the way it makes us feel, give ourselves time to think, and then problem solve. If we can not change the situation then we can allow ourselves to process our emotions, and change our perspective. Dealing with our problems can make us live a happier life, improve our confidence, and gain trust in ourselves. Some ideas:
- Reach out for advice
- Make a list or journal
- Avoid making assumptions
- Consider other perspectives
- Brainstorm solutions
- Create a plan
- Accept mistakes are a part of life and they are healthy
- Take it as an opportunity to learn and develop
Am I living in the past, present, or future?
Sometimes the past does come to us, often when we need to process difficult emotions and let them go. It can also be good to think about good memories, or think about a time we have learned something valuable. However,m if we are overthinking about the past then this can keep us unhappy in the present. Likewise, thinking about the future can help us to focus on goals and envisionthe life we want. However, living too much into the future can prevent us from enjoying the present and it can also lead to disappointment if we don’t reach where we have put pressure on ourselves to reach at certain points. We need to remember to bring ourselves back to the present moment and look for what we can appreciate and enjoy now to feel happier and more content. Some tips:
- Connect with nature
- Learn to accept what is
- Learn to forgive
- Learn to emotionally regulate
You may also like: Emotional regulation tips for parents
Am I doing what I want to do, or what I think I should do?
Growing up we are often told from all directions what we should be doing. We are rarely asked “what do you want to do?” this leads u to become adults who live lives based on expectations and external pressures. It’s ok to let go of this and to look inside to think “who am i?” and “what matters to me?” self discovery can help us to learn about our authentic selves and to create a life which is true to that. Things to consider:
- Self worth
- Self discovery
- Know that changing your mind is ok
- Look at priorities
- Simplify life
- Make small achievable goals
Am I prioritising my health?
There is nothing more important than your health and wellbeing. If there is anything in your life that is affecting your health then you could think about if you need it in your life, or if there are boundaries you can put in place. Other thing to consider for your health:
- Self care
- Asking for help
- Enjoyable exercise
- Creative outlet
- Declutter home
Do I have supportive relationships?
It is up to us to choose who we surround ourselves with. The quality of our relationships with others will directly impact on our happiness. This is because humans thrive when they feel connected. A harvard study found that “our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health”. This study also found that close relationships were also better predictors of happy lives than social class, IQ or genes. We can consider:
- Do I feel supported?
- Can I be my true self?
- Do I feel nonjudged?
- Do I feel respected?
- Do I feel like I can trust them?
- Do I feel good after spending time with them?