New Mum Tiredness: What New Mums Need

Along with a beautiful newborn baby, after giving birth we are also gifted with new mum tiredness.  Not really the kind where you are woken up early by the neighbour’s dog, no. More like, when you’ve climbed to the top of a mountain carrying a tonne of bricks, fell down the rocks a few times, while you were down a few sheep trampled over you, and then when you dragged your exhausted aching body to the top and claimed your accomplishment, you realise you’ve got to go back, only now carrying someone on the way down. 

Oh and one more thing, there are going to be people all along the way, telling you that you’re not doing enough, or not doing it right. Sounds pretty exhausting right? So, how can we help by knowing what new mums need?

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Research shows that new mothers do not feel sufficiently supported in the year following childbirth. This includes psychological and practical support.  The importance of support is that it can decrease psychological distress. 

What new mums need

1. The pressure taken off of her

A new mother needs to be able to bond with her baby, it is vital for the baby’s development. This includes responding consistently with the baby, so a new mother needs to have all other pressures taken off of her. In these early days, the baby is learning to develop a secure attachment that will provide strong brain development for the future. Therefore a new mother shouldn’t be made to feel like she needs to do everything she may have been able to do before. Her priority needs to be taking care of her baby. Not only this, but she needs to be able to prioritise self-care and healing.

2. Respect her intuition 

New mums don’t need to hear criticism or judgment, they need people around them who will provide support and help them to trust their own motherly instincts. New mothers can feel very vulnerable, therefore telling them myths such as “babies are manipulating you when they cry” is dismissing the mother’s instinct to respond to their baby with warmth and love. 

3. Information

Leading on from number 2, instead of criticism and judgment, new mothers need reliable information. They don’t need to hear anyone’s opinion or unsolicited advice. This can create doubt in the new mother’s ability and confidence. If a new mum wants to know something or is seeking an answer, then they should be provided with trusted and professional information so that they can make informed decisions. 

4. Compassion

It is essential for new mothers to feel reassured and understood. This helps with healing and adjusting to a huge life change. They need to be told that they are doing great and that it’s ok to feel how they are feeling. Having compassionate relationships can help to protect a new mother’s emotional well-being. 

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5. Connection

New mums need to be able to share their experiences with others. This helps them to feel connected and avoids loneliness. Having those around them who will listen and validate their experiences and feelings can protect their well-being. Becoming a new mum can be an isolating experience, especially when compared to pre-baby life.

6. Practical help

Practical support is greatly appreciated after having a baby. No one can really be prepared for how much time a newborn will take up. So offering help so the mother can care for the baby and rest will mean the world to her. There are many ways someone could provide practical support for a new mother such as offering to pick up essentials, offering to do chores while she rests, preparing some food for her, taking care of a pet, and so on. 

What would you add to this list? share in the comments