How to Use Mindful Parenting Phrases to Help Children With Anger

When a child is feeling angry this is not the time to lecture them. Anger is a completely healthy and normal emotion that helps us to look after ourselves. We don’t want to shame our children for feeling anger and we don’t want them to suppress it because both of these options are damaging. We need to instead help them identify their emotion and release it in safe and effective ways. These parenting phrases to help children with anger will help in the very heat of the moment when you just can’t think of what to say. 

A research study showed that when people were not shown support and understanding for their anger, they showed declines in positive emotions. However, when they were validated, their positive emotions were protected. 

We help to bring emotional awareness to our children by naming how they are feeling by what we are observing. We need to allow and welcome their emotions, giving them a safe space to feel all of them and learn how to process and feel safe with how they feel. This keeps our children connected to themselves and gives them the confidence that they can handle their emotions. Just like any other process in the body, emotions need their own time too, that way they can be felt and released.

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Parenting Phrases to Help Children With Anger

It doesn’t feel good when that happens, and you’re angry about it, I know I get it

You’re feeling angry right now and that’s okay, you can try hitting this pillow or ripping up this paper

I can see how frustrated you’re feeling, that must be really difficult for you.

What happened has really caused you to feel angry, you have every right to feel that way

I see that right now you’re feeling really angry, do you need to leave this place/go outside/get some space?

You’re having a really hard time right now, I understand. I’m listening if you want to talk about it

You’re really angry right now, I can see that. When I’m angry it helps me when I ….”

I know you’re feeling angry, and that’s ok because your anger cares about you

You have every right to feel the way you’re feeling, and I know you can think of a way to help your anger leave your body

I can see how difficult this is for you, I’m here to help you figure out what’s upsetting you

You’re really upset right now, I know. I am here for you no matter what

This is really hard for you right now, I can see that. I would feel the same way too if it was me

Your anger doesn’t make you an angry person, it makes you a normal and healthy person who cares about what’s right

I can see you’re struggling right now, can you tell me what you think you might need to help you?

I can tell you’re really upset, you can say to me “I’m feeling really angry” and we can think of a good way for you to express that

You’ve taken too much and now you’re overwhelmed, I can see that

I can see how angry you’re feeling, I’m right here, shall we take a walk together?

You’re feeling really overwhelmed right now, and that’s ok, I feel like that too sometimes. Do you want to take some deep breaths like this

You’re having a really hard time, I’m here to listen, you don’t have to keep it all inside

Your anger cares about you, it has every right to be there. We can figure out what it’s trying to tell you

Of course, you’d feel upset and angry about that, I hear you

How to talk to your child when they are feeling calmer

Our goal is then to identify the needs behind the anger so we can help our children help themselves in the future.  We can do this by focusing on positivity and self-help tools. As the research shows, It is really important to help children with their positive emotions because when people feel understood, they become open to feedback on how they can change. 

Some examples:

Everyone feels angry sometimes and that still makes you loveable

Anger is a really difficult emotion to experience, you should be proud of the way you handled that

All of our emotions come to help us, including anger. Shall we think of a few ways that will help you when you are feeling angry next time?

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Let us know if any of these phrases help your child. What helps you when you are feeling angry? Head to the forum to share your thoughts, get advice, and connect with other compassionate parents. See you soon 🙂