I was carrying my son nearly 10 years ago when I found myself bombarded with unsought recommendations for items that could essentially do the job of feeding and cradling my baby for me. Pushy advice coming in from all directions on schedules and strict routines – often contradicted one another.
This overwhelming new world I was stepping into had me wondering: if I am left to create and grow this whole human inside my body, without much monitoring or guidance, why, then, such intervention and aid when I’ve birthed my baby?
My body was already working magic by itself, and something about the natural process underway mixed with the chaos of society’s expectations didn’t seem to fit together.
And that’s because it doesn’t fit together
The compromise is our instincts. And so instead of worrying about all these extra “must-haves”, I felt very sad that this organic, natural journey becomes another intricate job in our society that we are led to believe requires overthinking and overspending.
I am blessed to have a wonderful sister who I had the honour of watching nurture her first two children before my first was born. She followed what felt right for her, ignoring what society was instructing and she introduced me to gentle parenting.
I was relieved to find a network of mamas and papas who’s focus wasn’t on the latest technology or sleep training method, but rather on the raw connection with their babies and I’d get lost in stories of natural parenting. A lot of these values really resonated with me and I felt my mama-soul light up in colour. From there, I found my passion for research like the attachment theory.
The problem is when we live in a society where we are told what to do, and what we need, and not asked how we feel about it, it becomes normal to suppress our instincts. We become detached from how we feel and our inner guidance.
Our instincts have our best interests at heart and like babies are born with everything they need within them, we too already have everything we need within us to raise them.
Infant guidelines and baby product companies are a part of our modern lives and we are each, at certain times, grateful for their developments. It has just become normal to depend on them, to listen to societies increasing demands, and to take the ever changing advice as imperative.
But I believe when we are brave enough to tune out of all of the noise, then we can mindfully tune into ourselves and our babies. We can then be empowered to allow our incomparable instincts to lead the way.
I would love to hear your thoughts mamas & papas